Extreme Obfuscation: the thread

For thy who adventure the obfuscation/golfing path to the dungeons of time spent, post here your SmileBASIC code with extreme underhandedness and no [i}understandability. You may also explain what it does, but it may be better to keep it a secret. ;)

I made a super cool program that generates strings that represent legal numbers without alphanumeric characters (thinking on Yttria's @yBASIC). Uses a somehow working heuristic system to determine best "addition factors" (idk how are they called) for prime numbers. It's really slow though (512 numbers take 22 seconds on a o3DS) and the code to get the factors of a not-prime number needs change, because it's O(n-2). It's been tested to work up to 1024 numbers. (I was going to test it up to 16383 but I realized my code had a big faulty so...) The heuristic function can also be optimized. Key: [N3F43EFD] EDIT 1: Now the factor code just returns the square root of the numbers if it is a perfect square. Now I need to find a way to find only 2 prime factors (a*b) since the code only uses 2 and non-prime factors are poop. Also, the heuristic function has a complexity ranging from a theorical O(1) to a realistic O(HMAX%) [by default, HMAX%=50].

You’ll never get this one:

DEF A
 B
END
DEF B
 'the purpose of this function is left as an exercise to the reader
END
A

Fudge. I can't understand this necromancer's code!